I know that tons of teens in Swedshon like writing poetry because they think it’s cool (and they think that if they write enough of it, they’ll become popular– as if!).

I’m more of an individual, and I definitely march to the beat of my own drum (back when I was a dork I hosted a weekly conga-drumming circle in my bedroom, but Blue Robin was the only one who ever showed up).

This is why I don’t write poetry; I write something that I like to call “flowetry.” I gave it that name because it’s like poetry, only better, cause it has a good flow and is written by someone who’s actually popular (me). I’m thinking of reading some of it at the open mic night at The Java-Dome, (some high schoolers chill out there, including the hunkiest funk-master alive, otherwise known as Rick Chicken), but my curfew is still 8:30 (thanks a lot, Mom!) so I might have to sneak out.

I’ll just go to sleep with the covers pulled all the way up to my chin, so when my mom and dad kiss me goodnight, they can’t see that I’m FULLY CLOTHED beneath the sheets, and when they shut the door I’ll just shimmy down the tree that’s perched conveniently by my bedroom window. Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I’ll be free at last! But I’m not sure if I’m gonna do it because I am still a little bit nervous about easing my slinky body down down the length of bark-encrusted old oak tree.

Here’s a flow-em that I like to call “I Wouldn’t Be Caught DEAD hanging out with Blue Robin In Public”

I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with Blue Robin in public.
What if Timmy Bones saw?
She’s about as hot as a frosty icepick
In other words, she’s not hot
or cool
and I am
You can find me in the pages of Cosmo, Vogue and Maxim
Wearing funky outfits, tousled hair, relaxin’,
Okay maybe not yet, but one day you will
I’ll have my hair done
And be wearing a full face of foundation so that you can’t see my acne
“Acne” rhymes with “puberty”
Coincidence?
I think not.
Blue Robin hasn’t even gotten her period yet
Which means she’s not a woman yet
I got mine
Yesterday.

previously: Deb Webster & the Curse of the Haunted Textbook, Chapter 1 “Popular at Last!” & Chapter 2 “The Mysterious Phone Call”

als previously: Featured Bio – Deb Webster