Dear Junior Olympic Judges,

I am writing to you because I would very much like to be included in the Junior Olympics that start next week. I just saw a commercial for it while I was watching Perfect Strangers and I realized, at that moment, that no one is better than me at rhythmic dancing. I have been a rhythmic dancer since toddling in my basonette. Let me tell you a little bit about myself in case you want to make a video about me. I started dancing when I was a tot. Real young. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror until something would move. Often my pelvis. it would start to shimmy and writhe. Then i would get my arms involved. i imagined that they were tiny worms crawling towards their nest in the soil. My legs would join in at some point pumping and grinding to the beat in my head. What beat, you may ask? I was dancing to the theme song for Facts of Life. Moving my legs sideways in an MC Hammer manner is what put me on the map for rhythmic dancing. My own map, at least. That’s how I know I can do it.

Every day when I get home from school I put The Cutting Edge into the VCR and fast forward it to the Pamechenko (sometimes I watch the whole thing without fast forwarding it). I watch it in slow motion and practice in the mirror with superhero figurines (i do the Pamchenko on dry land, not the ice, so its even better). The fact is, I’m the choreographer for the funky hunks. I’ve been choreographing there walks through the halls and occasional dance routines in the cafeteria for 8 months now. I’ve been mapping out our exact movements for the holiday hop for like two weeks. It’s gonna have funk and it’s gonna show off the hunk in each of us. You will be thrilled to learn that I am also patriotic, which is why i would like to represent our country. My shiny spandex are star spangled and prove my commitment to yours truly. so, to sum it all up, here is a list of reasons why you want me there next week:

1. I’m a hunk
2. I’m funky
3. I’m patriotic
4. I’ve got the rhythm to prove it
5. I do the Pamchenko
6. I’m a choreographer (well known)

and

7. My clothes are buck tight

Now- it may be the case that rhythmic dancing is not yet an olympic event (I forgot to check). No worries. Once people see my knees pumping like flour in a sifter they will know that this is the event to beat.

If you have any questions you can either beep me or send me a letter. I will be practicing my moves until I hear from you.

From,

Buck Tight Jimmy

to read more about Buck Tight J visit our characters page and scroll down for his Bio

previously: The Hot & Steamy Timmy Bones’ Log Post (T-Bones’ T-Log)